Health & Fitness
Explaining the world to our children requires understanding of self and others-
CHILDREN NEED TO HAVE GENUINE EMPATHETIC REPONSES FROM YOU SO THAT THEY FEEL UNDERSTOOD AND ACCEPTED. The past is gone and the present hasn't happened yet, so all we have is right now.
How often are you the parent asked," How do you feel about that?". How often are you speechless because you are still trying to figure it out? Our lives have become so busy that we do not have time to feel peaceful. I've frequently heard from others, 'I'm either running like crazy or asleep". We are teaching this to our children and they are excellent learners. Instead of telling your child to hurry up and eat their breakfast so they won't be late for school try telling your child to take their time and really enjoy what they are eating. Practice that. Practice living in the present as a family. A healthy yoga practice teaches us to be present on our mat and in our lives. The past is gone and the present hasn't happened yet, so all we have is right now.
When speaking to several parents this week about their relationship with their child it occured to me that we as parents can do a better job explaining the world to our children. Have you ever asked your child, "why did you do that?". The puzzled look on their face is probably truth- they probably have no idea. Instead try explaining the situation to them. "You hit your brother because you are frustrated. It is ok to be frustrated, but it is not ok to hit. " This lack of understanding of self and others along with terrible guilt for feeling/doing lays the foundation for depression, feeling alone, and of course bullying.
“Bullying” has become a life threatening problem that is invading our homes, our schools, and our loved ones. It has to stop. We have to be proactive. We have to pay attention to signs that our children may be exhibiting. We have to keep an open mind that our beloved child may be the victim or the perpetrator of bullying. We have to keep the lines of communication open with our children so that they know that you-the parent- are a safe, EMPATHETIC, and non-condemning person to talk to.
The following are seven core strengths that all children should be developing:
ATTACHMENT: being able to form and maintain healthy emotional bonds and relationships.
SELF-REGULATION: containing impulses, the ability to be aware of and control primary urges as well as feelings such as anger and frustration.
AFFILIATION: being able to join and contribute to a group such as a school, park district, or private group/club/team- even an unofficial group of positive friends.
ATUNEMENT: being aware of others, recognizing the needs, interests, strengths and values of others.
TOLERANCE: understanding and accepting differences in others.
RESPECT: finding value in differences, appreciating worth in yourself and others.
EMPATHY: being able to understand and relate to facial expressions and feelings of others.
CHILDREN NEED TO HAVE GENUINE EMPATHETIC REPONSES FROM YOU SO THAT THEY FEEL UNDERSTOOD AND ACCEPTED.
Your children are mirror images of yourself: If you value and accept differences in others; they will learn to. If you communicate well; they will learn to. If you use “your feeling” words; they will learn to. If you are at peace with your body; they will be. If you are using physical punishment to express your anger or disappointment; they will learn to do the same. Physical punishment only teaches children to be scared of YOU it does nothing to fix the actual problem!
Your children's friends are mirror images of themselves: They chose these friends because they have “a lot in common” with them!When you express your dislike for their friends, your children feel like you dislike them.
IF WE TREAT CHILDREN AS THOUGH THEY ARE WHAT
THEY OUGHT TO BE AND COULD BE, THEY WILL BECOME WHAT THEY
OUGHT TO BE AND SHOULD BE
If you feel that your child may be having difficulty in any of the above areas please consult your family doctor or pediatrician FIRST to address any medical or consitutional issues.
