It's Time For A Spring Tuneup

Suicide attempts and completions increase in the spring. That is a fact. The "why" comes from different theories.

Theory #1: "When people are depressed, down, or feeling sad during the winter season, they tend to blame that on the lack of sunshine, cabin fever, or simply the season. When spring begins with the flowers budding, the longer days, and the chirping of the birds, people expect to feel better. When they don't, attempts and completions increase." 

Theory #2: "Our brain signals us with different levels of endorphins. At any time, these endorphins (that bring us pleasure) ebb and flow.

I'm sure that there are even more theories out there in the universe. Bottom line? 

FACT: Suicide attempts and completions increase in the spring.

We tune up our cars, we replace batteries at certain times of the year. A mental health tuneup, especially in the spring, is also a good idea. In fact, it could save a life!

If you are concerned about the mental health of a teenager, ask them open ended questions: 

-"I notice you seem to be taking some risks lately. You aren't turning in your homework and it's so close to the end of the year. You look tired as if, perhaps, you're not sleeping. You almost got hit by a car the other day when crossing the street. I'm wondering if you can help me understand what I'm seeing. I love you and I'm worried about you."

-You could share a time in your life when you were the same age as your teen.  Even though they may (and probably will!) roll their eyes, you can say, "I remember when I was 17 and getting ideas about what kind of prom dress I wanted. My boyfriend was acting weird and I thought he was going to break up with me. He was really mean to me on the phone one night. I took a handful of aspirin, thinking I wanted to die, and then woke up grateful I hadn't. When I told my mom, we talked a lot and I felt like she understood me.  We talked about other ways to handle pain."

-"I don't notice (name of best friend, boy or girl) around these days. What's goin' on?"

Of course, you'll use your own words and have your own ideas.

If your concerns increase, check your teen's computer, texting, email. I will share with you that there are many, many websites that will walk a suicidal person through a completion. The kids know this. Now I want you to know it.

On Friday, I received a phone call from a social worker with the DesPlaines/Park Ridge police department. She contracted with me to come and spend 4 hours talking about suicide warning signs and prevention techniques for teens. Recently, 2 male teens took their lives. 

"These were good kids, high achieving kids, with a good home and 2 loving parents." Sometimes these statements rub me the wrong way because people want to find a universal stereotype for someone who dies by suicide. That way, they can make sure it doesn't happen in their families. It doesn't work like that.

Suicide transcends all socioeconomic levels. For teens, it happens, quite often, on the spur of the moment. Two-parent homes, one-parent homes, homes with two dads or two moms.  We can look at a teen who comes from a seemingly "horrible, abusive" home and wonder how they made it out as well as look at a teen with the "perfect" home and wonder how someone who had it all could end their life.

I look at resilience, coping skills, attitude. I look at the internal struggle we often label depression. Depression is a silent, creeping, insidious disease, or it can be.  Depression kills. There is also a great deal of help for depression in the form of counseling and, yes, dare I say it, medication. For some, counseling is enough. For others, medication (only prescribed by a psychiatrist, NOT the family doctor) and counseling works better. I believe, strongly, in family counseling. A suicidal teen is not the family scapegoat. Tell your teen you have concerns and you need to know how to help her. You have made an appointment with a therapist. Then, go as a family.

What is a family? A group of people who care for one another and who love one another. 

First, begin by engaging your teen in a conversation. Trust me, I know it can be done. Might not be easy, but it CAN be done.

Finally, to anyone reading this who has lost a loved one to suicide, this blog is not to make you feel any guiltier or angrier or sadder than you already feel. Suicide will always be with us. We can cut the completions with education, conversation, and outside help. For those of us who have lost a loved one to suicide, as I have, helping to prevent other suicides becomes our goal. 20/20 is hindsight. In retrospect, we learned how this death could have been prevented. Sometimes, in some cases...