A Community Mourns ...

     The text came yesterday morning. 
     "An 11 year old from Yorkville took his life." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath....and read it again.
      The calls from the media began: "Have you heard? What do you know?How could this have been prevented?"
     The outrage begins and the fingers start to point. This is a common response. People are afraid. If this happened again, in our community, then it could happen to any one of us.
     There's never any singular reason why someone dies by suicide. There is a "perfect storm" of conditions that come together that lead to this death. In our society, we think that if we can pinpoint "it" then we can isolate "it" and make sure that it doesn't happen to us.
       Suicide education needs to begin as early as preschool when kids are taught, at home, at school, about feelings. It's okay to feel sad sometimes but not for long periods of time. Teach the kids to talk to someone about those feelings. Teach them to go to an adult when someone is bullying them. Teach them to cry and acknowledge their feelings. As they get older, talk about depression, and other forms of mental illness. This is one piece of a very complicated puzzle.
       But today, our community has lost an 11 year old child. I have heard that the faculty of Autumn Creek Elementary School have done an amazingly wonderful job of working with their students after hearing of this death. Imagine what it must have been like for those people, from the Superintendent all the way through the staff to receive that news first thing in the morning. It's a superintendents worst nightmare. 
     In time, our community will figure out what to do to move forward. For now, we mourn this loss.  We have a child to bury and a family to console. Let's not point fingers. Let's support each other. If you want to "do" something, support the family by participating in whatever grief rituals they"ll follow. Send a card, take a meal. Offer to run an errand, clean a bathroom, or pick up some groceries for them. Stop by the school or the Superintendents office with a card or flowers or a treat to eat. Hug one another.
     Above all else, be kind to one another and....hug your children. Hug one another....We never quite realize that a smile, a kind word, or a hug is also suicide prevention at its very best. What does THAT cost us? Absolutely nothing and, in giving, we also receive....